A little down....

Don't know why, but I've been feeling a little down for the past few days...perhaps it's the fact that Phoenix is turning 1 in February, or maybe it's the fact that my "baby" is turning 25 on Friday...or perhaps it's from staying inside too much.  What ever it is, I'm not happy feeling like this.  I've been in full on depression before, and this isn't it, but it's the beginning slope and I really don't want to fall into that state of mind once again.

I think that a possible reason could be that I never get to go do anything w/ hubby.  I love my daughter like crazy, but honestly, it's very difficult having her live here with the baby full time.  And caring for him full time is a difficult task.  Don't get me wrong, I love him like crazy, but this isn't the kind of grandma I wanted to be.  I'm glad they are close...wouldn't want them to move away to another town or state, but I'd love to just be a grandma and not a parent again.  Am I looking at this the wrong way?  I had envisioned my grand kids coming over to visit and me spoiling the rotten then sending them home so that mommy & daddy could deal with them.  I can't do that w/ Phoenix...oh no!  I can't spoil him because then I have to deal with him!  

I've got my son and daughter-in-love coming over a bit later on to celebrate my daughters birthday.  She's working on Friday, so the best day was today.  We've already given her her gifts...a new body pillow case, a new blanket and we went in on a new mattress topper for her bed...those gel memory foam toppers.  We were hoping that it would help her back.  Apparently her mattress is just too firm although she needs it firm because of her back injury a couple of years back...the topper helped some, but she is still waking up sore in the morning.   *sigh*

Little man is finishing his lunch and little momma went out to the garage for a few minutes, leaving me to take care of him...so, I've gotta get back on the grandma train!